I hated gym class and I sucked at team sports. So to stay active I started going to the gym in high school. My dad made us, my sister and me, get a personal because we didn't know what we were doing. I didn't like the guy and stopped going once the school year was over. Fast forward to second-year of university, where this high-school honour roll student starts failing classes, anxiety hit me hard. I started seeing a counselor and she recommended that I try the gym, run a few laps. I decided to give it a shot. I started running the track four times a week, before class. Every now and then I'd do some body weight exercises, but my main goal was focusing on running.

I would run 20-30 minutes. I didn't care about miles, or my pace. I just thought about running for this specific amount of time. I'd be tired, but I would motivate myself by thinking about what I had learned in class. Rewards = dopamine release. Completing a twenty-minute run would make me feel better, i.e. rewarding, therefore a surge of dopamine will be released in my brain and I'll be happy. That was my thought process running. It's very basic, but it keeps me going and helps me push myself. Afterall, who doesn't want to be happy?

This did help with my anxiety. I didn't keep up with the daily running after my third year. The typical excuses: I couldn't juggle work and school and the gym.

This year, although the anxiety has since remained at a low, I decided to start hitting the gym again regularly. I got in contact with a great instructor, Rachel, and asked her if she would personal train me. She's awesome (you can learn more about her here: http://www.findyourqueendom.com/). I feel stronger and more confident, anxiety is lower, etc.

And then one day, I felt like I was about to cry during the session. It was super frustrating because you're trying to focus on keeping good form and finishing the rep, and all you can think about is holding back tears, for no apparent reason. I do think I am hypersensitive, I cry at anything. But triceps dips aren't supposed to be emotional triggers. I asked Rachel if she had encountered anyone with the same reaction before. She replied that it's likely that my body is feeling uncomfortable and that's the reaction that accompanies it. I kept that in the back of my mind and didn't think much else about it.

Until yesterday, when I had what I think was an anxiety attack at the gym. Léa and I were doing lunges. I was feeling similar to that day with Rachel, I felt slightly nauseous and like I needed to cry during the workout. I finished doing lunges on one leg, suddenly I burst into tears. My heart was palpitating and I had shortness of breath. I was hyperventilating and I really thought I was going to faint. It's kind of scary when you can't seem to control your breath. Thankfully Léa was able to sit me down and guide me through some deep breathing. I took a sip of water and suddenly felt an adrenaline rush. I finished my workout but it was definitely a weird experience.

Of course, I came home and googled to figure out if this is common with other people. Apparently, the combination the increased heart rate, increased adrenaline, increased sweating and increased breathing rates, which are anxiety attack symptoms, can confuse the body. I also read that these attacks are more likely to occur when you're pushing your body to a point of oxygen debt. You aren't able to catch your breath and feel difficulty breathing because your lungs aren't able to absorb the oxygen needed fast enough.

Thankfully, my sister was able to handle the situation and no one else in the gym seemed to notice. It was embarrassing enough as is, and I can't imagine how humiliating it would've been if the situation had gone further. This won't stop me from working out and pushing myself. I just need to be aware of the signs of anxiety attacks and not push my body to that state again.

I was reluctant to share this story, but I do hope that it might help somebody realize that this is more common than we know and that they're not alone.

I'd love to hear your tips on how you keep your anxiety or mental health in check!

Patty

As relieved as I was that I had finally found an answer to my problem, I knew making the shift over to a gluten free lifestyle was not going to be easy. Many say, oh it could be worse, or oh that's not too bad.. but there are actually many components to going gluten free when it is for health purposes rather than going gluten free by choice. Choosing to do something by choice is, from experience, a little easier to accept than doing so because it is the only option you have. With that being said, a huge part of me was definitely excited, ecstatic even that this pain would finally subside but there's no doubt that I was still pretty nervous and scared because I didn't know what to expect.

In this blog post, I'm going to outline the initial steps to going gluten free and why it's important to do so.

1. Cut out Gluten from your diet 
The first step in going gluten free is obviously to cut out everything that contains gluten (and I say obvious... but you will learn eventually that it actually isn't so obvious as there are many hidden sources of gluten!!)** Gluten is mainly found in anything that contains rye, barley, and wheat. It can also sometimes be found in sister crops such as oats, which is why it's important to get those labeled gluten-free. So what does this mean? This means that you should be eliminating everything that contains those major three grains. Examples : Breads, pastas, pizzas, pastries, cakes, muffins.. and the list goes on. Essentially, anything that contains those grains or flours is now out of the question.

You will have to read labels thoroughly to make sure that these ingredients are not present in the foods you are buying. It sounds like a lot, but there are alternatives once you start looking for them! :) Many grocery stores now have dedicated gluten-free aisles and fridges. In there you can find GF pastas, breads, sweets and much more :).

2. Seek professional help
For many, it won't be easy to do this on your own. Post diagnosis, you will be encouraged to see a dietician, nutritionist, or even call the helpline in order to get a breakdown of the foods you can eat. You can even go see a naturopath (which is what I have been doing) because I personally prefer that.

In addition to that, celiac disease leads to malnutrition which left untreated, can lead to a series of multi systemic conditions. In order to avoid that, you want to get a check up with your doctor to identify your deficiencies. Once that's done, you'll be recommended to supplement so that you can get your numbers back up there.

From my personal experience, I had to supplement with Iron, Calcium and magnesium, Vitamin D, B12, Fish oils, Probiotics.. and that's all as far as I can remember.

It's also important to have someone to talk to. Whether it be family, a friend, or even a professional, this will help you a lot because the nervous system is compromised at this point. It is a misconception that celiac disease is a disease of the gut that only leads to symptoms such as bloating, diarrhea, and abdominal pain. Although these symptoms may be present, celiac takes a huge toll on the nervous system resulting in conditions such as depression, mood swings, and anger. It not only affects your mood but can also lead to peripheral neuropathy, gluten ataxia, and muscle spasms which is why I believe that seeking professional help in terms of your nutrition and having someone to talk to go hand in hand. This is personally why I prefer seeing a naturopath because they assess you as a person in whole meaning they consider not only your physical state but mental as well, but again, this is just a personal preference of mine! :)

Avoiding gluten isn't as easy as it sounds seeing as there are hidden sources of gluten. The issue of cross-contamination is also one that many overlook. Over my next few blog posts, I will go into more depth regarding those issues and how to tackle them.

As mentioned, there is also a wide range of health risks associated with Celiac disease (I have named a few above) and left untreated, this can lead to other health-related conditions some more serious, and others a little milder but regardless, this is why it's important to eliminate gluten from your diet upon diagnosis. This will prevent conditions from worsening and allow you to get back to a healthy lifestyle. In my next blog post, I will provide a breakdown of common conditions associated with celiac disease.

I hope this blog post was insightful on the initial steps you or a loved one should take. Feel free to comment if you have any questions, or concerns and make sure to spread awareness to help us all live a happy, healthy life. :)

Happy Celiac Awareness month! :)
With love,
Léa S.

Four years ago, I had never even heard of Celiac Disease. I had no idea what it was and would have never ruled it out as a possibility. Today, many still do not know what Celiac disease is because there isn't much awareness about it. I hope to be able to increase awareness and help others suffering by sharing my story. I will be walking you through my pre-diagnosis, breaking down the mental and physical symptoms I experienced.



A little about Celiac Disease
Celiac Disease is an auto-immune disease that affects the lining of the small intestine. The consumption of gluten triggers an abnormal immune response damaging the absorptive surface of the small intestine. This can result in malnutrition, nutritional deficiencies, increased risk of autoimmune diseases, and some cancers of the gut if left untreated. Celiac disease has several symptoms which can differ from one person to another. Many also experience little to no symptoms, or may only start feeling them once the disease starts progressing. The average diagnosis time is about 10 years for individuals suffering from celiac disease. How crazy is that? I was fortunate enough that I got diagnosed earlier than that. In my case, it started off with the physical pain and eventually, it affected me mentally as well.

**Warning: This may be a lengthy post #sorrynotsorry! 
(Although, I will do my best to keep it to a minimum, I find it very important to let people know who I am and my story in order to educate and help others, hoping they do not have to go through such an enduring process!)

My Story 

When I first started experiencing symptoms, it started off with mild stomach pain. As most average teenagers would do, I blew it off thinking it was just a bad stomach ache that would go away. Boy, was I wrong. Fast forward two weeks, I was in Lebanon supposed to be enjoying a two-month vacation. Instead, I was struggling to even enjoy myself. The stomach pain had gone from zero to one hundred REAL f* quick and I couldn't even process what was happening.

I began experiencing mild stomach pain as previously mentioned. Eventually, the pain got worse within a matter of 2 weeks and was now accompanied by a lack of appetite, nausea, and weight loss. I managed to lose 15 pounds within those two weeks. Seeing as I had never weighed more than 115 pounds, losing 15 pounds was a big deal for me. I looked very unhealthy at that point, especially at my height of 5'3 (I will link photos at the bottom of the post for reference). Over the course of two months, the symptoms progressed. Although unhealthy, I managed to stay at a solid 100 pounds.

The journey to countless visits to the doctors office had just begun. Frequent diagnoses were limited to over-stress, or that I had IBS and should stop worrying because it would soon pass. That was the most devastating news for me to hear because I knew something was wrong. The pain drove me crazier day to day, and it progressively got worse. I started feeling weak, sleeping a lot more, lacked motivation, and just had no energy to do anything.  All of these symptoms are common signs of depression but at the time, I was in denial. I was in denial because I knew that there was something more than the fact that I was depressed. After educating myself enough on the disease, I now know that depression is another symptom of Celiac Disease and although it was very hard to come to terms with, I was able to admit to myself that I was depressed.

Two months had gone by, and I was back in Toronto now but still no diagnosis. After countless visits to the doctors office, no one could rule out the problem. I was at my weakest point, and I was starting to lose hope. Giving up just seemed like the only option left. I visited a total of 14 doctors with no questions answered. At this point, I was in my senior year of high school. I had a great boyfriend and great friends that I truly cared about but I could not find it in me to show them because this had taken a huge toll on me. They would frequently mention that I wasn't the same Léa they knew, that they thought I was going crazy, and that I was delusional. It upset me because I knew exactly what they were saying but could not find the power in me to do anything about it. I felt like everything was falling apart and I was hopeless. Celiac disease is a very powerful disease and will affect you physically as well as mentally. I physically and mentally felt that I could not do things I was able to as little as 2 months prior.

Mentally, this took a huge toll on me in terms of my personality and mood. This affected my personal relationships and my education. I would sleep for the majority of my days, leaving little to no time for school work or friends and S/O's. I am forever grateful to have had a good support system around me from my sisters to my boyfriend, and friends. But it is very hard to not feel guilty for having to put people through that with you and you can't help but feel like you are being given up on at some point. After all these visits to the doctors, and the countless "you're okay"s and "it's all in your head", it is more than likely that the odds will be against you. A lot of people around me really believed I was okay at this point, even my own parents started thinking I was delusional. It really sucked that I couldn't even get my parents behind me on this. But with all the proof against me, it was hard to even convince anyone. This did not aid in any way with the stress and anxiety I was feeling.

I would often get anxiety attacks when I would argue with my parents or when other aspects such as friendship and relationships were struggling. I knew everyone thought I was going crazy, and I also knew that I was driving people crazy. This was not something easy for me to handle and I was really struggling, but it was hard to make people see eye to eye with me on it at the time because none of us really knew what was going on. Part of me always feels a sense of guilt for having put my friends through it and even my S/O because starting a new relationship, to have someone do a 360 on you unexpectedly, is not something that's easy to handle. That part still aches in me because I would have never wanted to put someone through that. But another part of me tries to be at peace with it because I did not choose for things to go the way that they did. I would have wanted to hope for the best, but sometimes in life, you can't expect what's going to happen to you and I didn't choose Celiac Disease. Once I realized what was going on and I finally got diagnosed, everything from my changed behaviours, the way I was looking, and feeling, all made sense. Everything just became crystal clear and I just wished it had happened sooner for others to understand with me why I was the way I was. Despite it all, I will forever be grateful for those of you who stuck by me, and thank you. You know who you are. And although it would have been easy to give up on me, I also want to thank you for sticking by me and giving me that string of hope to latch onto.

There were several occasions where I would come back home with no answers, feeling hopeless and just saying I guess I am just going to have to live with it. Having someone there pushing you to keep looking for answers is the best thing you could ask for. That was what kept me going in times of despair. Someone told me: "you can't give up on yourself like that, you have to keep going until you get your answers". And I did have that drive at the beginning. When I want something, I am driven and I won't stop until I get it but it's very easy to lose your drive in desperate times. Having someone tell me that, was a constant reminder of who I was and what I was fighting for. It also reminded me, that there are people who truly do care about me. This was year 2 of my pre-diagnosis.

Fast forward to 2014, I had gone to a new clinic that had just opened up by my house. The doctor had sent me to do an abdominal ultrasound. As the lab technician was performing the ultrasound, she looks at me and says "holy ****, there is so much gas in your stomach, I can't even see your liver". She went on asking me questions as to the reason for my visit and we began talking about intolerances and allergies. It wasn't until then that the idea of a "wheat allergy" was brought to my attention. She mentioned her friend was experiencing stomach discomfort for a while and after removing wheat from her diet, she felt like herself again. After that appointment, I came home and started doing some research. That is when I stumbled upon Celiac Disease. I read up on the symptoms.. and I had just about every symptom in the books.

*Just for reference here are common symptoms one may experience:

Abdominal pain
Weight loss
Nausea
Lack of appetite
Nutritional Deficiencies
Anxiety
Depression
Joint Pain
Indigestion
Bloating
Recurring/persistent diarrhea
Menstrual irregularities
Migraines
Lactose Intolerance
Anemia

Those are some of the symptoms I experienced. For an extended list of symptoms please visit: http://celiac.ca/pdfs/celiac%20disease%20what%20is%20it.pdf.

I took it into my own hands to go to that same clinic, explained to the doctor what was going on and for how long and demanded I get screened for Celiac Disease. I had finally found a doctor who considered it as an option and agreed with me.

There are two steps for Celiac Disease diagnosis. The first step is a screening where they perform some blood work. If the blood work comes out positive, a biopsy is done in order to confirm the diagnosis. After the initial blood work was done, I was screened with a positive result. I then went for an endoscopy procedure to confirm the diagnosis. A biopsy of the small intestine was taken. On August 13th, 2014, I was officially diagnosed with Celiac Disease.

Finding out I had Celiac Disease was nowhere near easy. When I found out, I cried. It was like a bittersweet moment. On one hand, it was a relief because I had finally found my answers 4 years later. On the other hand, I knew this was going to be a turning point in my life, and I was scared. I knew the journey back to recovery wouldn't be an easy one, but that moving forward it would be nothing but better.

What I've learned now 

In light of Mental Wellness month, I am posting to talk to you guys about my favourite "low-maintenance" way to deal with my anxiety, especially once midterms come along.

I started experiencing anxiety once I began university, similar to many students. Unfortunately, my best friends having moved away from Toronto to go study elsewhere, I didn't have anyone I can really turn to. My parents are great, but mental health is still a very stigmatized topic in the Middle East, so they were not an option. My sisters are awesome support, but at the time it was hard for me to turn to anyone, mainly because I felt lots of pressure being a first generation student. After seeing a counsellor, one great tip she gave me was to try walking meditation.

Now I actually suck at sitting meditation. I can't sit still for the life of me, I fidget a lot, so it's either I can't keep my focus or end up falling asleep. It takes lots of practice to get it right. Maybe one day I'll end up practicing it daily and staying on top of it. But for now, walking meditation should do.

Here are the tips my counsellor had given me. First off, do not ruminate about the exam you just had, or what the homework you have, the project deadline this Friday, or your applications due in December. Let all of that go. Start observing around you. Notice the trees, the leaves or lack of them, the snow, the puddles of water on the sidewalk. Focus on the noise around you. Are there cars honking, or driving by? Do you feel leaves crunching under your feet? Try to feel the way the wind hits your face, or the cold air on your cheeks. Present details is what we're focusing on.

It sounds super banal, but it's actually tough when anxious thoughts override your brain. But simply trying to be more mindful about what's going on around me really helps me with my daily anxiety. It might sound super simple, but along with deep breaths, it keeps me going.

- Patty
(I'm not a professional, nor do I guarantee that this will help. If you do need help, please contact the Kids Help phone line at 1-800-668-6868, or Good2Talk at 1-866-925-5454. If you require immediate assistance, please call 911.)